I was always an optimist.
Until things went horribly wrong for me,
And I learned to expect the worst.
Nothing’s changed and as much as I
Want to take comfort in how
Calm and happy things are right now,
I just cannot bring myself to.
I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop,
I keep waiting for my happiness to disappear –
I am so convinced it will, and I hate it.
I was not always this way.
I wish I could go back
To being the girl that wrote about
Rainy days in what was
Once a happier phase.
When things go wrong,
I have learned that it is foolish
To expect anything
But the worst,
Even as you hope
For a better ending –
A happier one.